Kim & Khloe Kardashion 1/3/10 Staples Center Getty Images

What self-respecting woman doesn’t have a black eye liner — a pencil to be specific — in her arsenal of makeup must-haves? I have several…. (12-step program definitely needed, black eyeliner and red lipstick are not luxuries, they are necessities.) Imagine Kim or Khloe Kardashian without black eyeliner.  Shudder….

Well, I love Urban Decay 24/7 glide on pencil in Zero, it’s the bomb, the best.  But, when you are addicted to eye liner, that pencil can be worn down to a nub in no time.  So that’s why you have your cheap thrills, you know, the budget eyeliner from the drugstore.  I have tried them all and they are not all created equal.

Before I even get to the budget black eyeliner, I have to back peddle and admit that I cheated on my Urban Decay with Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes pencil.  Same price, but they are not created equal.  Urban Decay 5 blings, MUFE maybe 3.  MUFE didn’t have that easy breezy glide-on that capability that Urban Decay has, and I wasn’t able to rim my inner eye with ease.  It was a little too matte for my liking and  since I bought it at Sephora, I think it’s going back.

And of course there is Prince, he wouldn’t get caught without his black eyeliner and stacked heel  boots.

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You know, Photoshop just doesn’t do everyone justice.  Yea sure, the major fashion magazines feel compelled to make stick-thin models even thinner than they are.  It’s a great tool for getting rid of bags and sags — just ask Tyra who has shown her Photoshopped legs, before and after.  Or even more recently Kim Kardashian, whose pre and post Photoshopped photos were leaked on the internet.  How about  Madonna who threw a fit when her signature gap was Photoshopped into a set of perfectly connected two front teeth.  Or what about the model that has to have her needle tracks Photoshopped out of the picture?  So, yea, I have to admit Photoshop can cure a host of ills.  And if anyone catches me in a bikini on my private yacht while I’m sailing the Greek Isles, PLEASE Photoshop me. 

Anyway, the reason why I even brought this whole picture re-touching deal up is because the Got Milk? ad with Dara Torres just plain freaks me out.  I swear she looks like a dude  with a woman’s head, her head I guess, super-imposed on the neck.  And her normally tanned and freckled skin is eerily smooth and even-toned.  Plus she’s all greased up — gross!  Then she is in this weird pose.  What about that helmet hair? Who are her people? How did they let that weird picture become a nationwide advertising campaign?  What do you think? (more…)

Jennifer Hudson -- Naturally Lovely Lips

I’m a BROWN GIRL.  As such I have big hips, big lips and a natural tan. Those qualities are  intrinsically mine and ubuquitous to a whole lot of other women of color I know.  What gets my goat is that when it comes to moving up the ladder in the “Beauty” industry of Corporate America, I have been categorically denied passage to the next  rung because of my physicality.  Yet, those traits that identify me as a brown girl, is the stuff that is generating gazillions of dollars for those same companies.  And that whole scenario just kind of makes me mad.

Let me break it down for you.

1.  Big Lips

Du Wop Lip Venom -- The "original" plumper

I remember shopping for a red lipstick many years ago, and the perky girl behind the counter told me my lips were too big for red. That had me seeing red.  I picked out the boldest, brightest red she had and bought a few.  So what, now big lips are en vogue because of Angelina Jolie?  Every magazine editor is waxing poetic over “bee stung lips.’  What?  Bee stung lips are not cute.  What about Angie Stone, Jennifer Hudson, and other women with naturally plump lips?  Since when did a fair skin woman win in the category of best lips?  Gimme a break.

One of the best selling cosmetic products is lip plumper. Yup.  The stuff stings like the dickens and it only work temporarily.  But every cosmetic line has a lip plumper of some sort — lip gloss, lipstick, serum.  And what about the plastic surgery?  You can always tell fake lips — the upper lip curls out from inside.  It looks so weird and unnatural.  Check out Lisa Rinna.  EWWWWWWW. (more EWWWWWWW here.  I mean really ewwwwww)

2.  Big Hips

I have had big hips all my life.  For years I had to buy jeans too big in the waist to accommodate my hips.  Except for Gloria Vanderbilt jeans back in the day….I did everything to get rid of these hips.  But then I had children and I was thanking God for those child bearing hips.  I had minimal labor; as a matter of fact I barely made it to the hospital before I spit my last one out.  J Lo made a splash with her gluteous maximus, so did Beyonce’, but this latest chick, Kim Kardashian shows up with her big hips and whooaaaaa, let’s get on the big hip trip.  Gimme a break.  So what makes Kim’s hips better?  The air brushing?  Keep reading and check her out.  You tell me. (more…)